This is everyone from "the class of '98" - that is, all the members of the 1996-1998 sixth form of the George Ward School, Melksham.
IMPORTANT NOTE!!! If you are on the list below then please e-mail me! I have set up a mailing list (discussion group) for us to keep in touch and for this I need your e-mail addresses!
My e-mail address is ian@banter-crew.net.
Paul Rixon suggested I do this:
- Print Hutchings pager number, and say that he is a sailor who enjoys male company.
Well, it seemed like a good idea, so I did it. But he then went on to ask for:
- More abuse of Austin.
- More abuse of Brian.
- Say what a great guy I am.
- Say even more about what a great guy I am!
...and I also ignored Maddy's first idea (which was tell every one
that he is a rather arrogant swine
).
I haven't ignored all of Maddy's ideas, however, and in fact most of the more abusive and interesting descriptions were originally hers. Yes, this is a disclaimer. I am laying the blame 100% on Madeleine McEwan!
(Liz) Apparently she climbed Everest (or something).
(Austin) A rebellious rock - err - star. Once the bassist of Four Parts Water, he aspired to become a sound engineer. He's was in my tutor group. See also Nicola Cottrell.
Ofter found in the Tavern beating the shit out of some scatty bint from the year below. Hung around with generally double 'ard bastards and members of the Chosen Few.
Also often found in the vicinity of the Tav, usually propping up the bar no matter which side of it she is standing. See also Piercings.
She took French and Spanish (amongst other things).
I didn't know her very well, so cannot include a description. Sorry!
(Briggsy; Dave) Thought of most often in terms of JD's and coke. Drinking partners include Shite, Rix and Bri. Was often found laughing hysterically at his latest marks in Chemistry.
He was in my Physics group. He's was also in my Chemistry group. He and Mason were the main users of my Academic Projects site...
(Hat) Once thought of as a generally shy retiring creature, blossomed into a man eater post sixth form. Last seen devouring latest conquest.
Often found in short skirts and see through shirts. Generally male subject of desire, or wanking, depending on how you look at it.
(Jess) Once friend of the evasive crying machine that was Sprules. Often found in the library doing work. Dodgy. More likely she was reading the latest porn mag passed on to her by "Blow job Bessie", Helen Hollingsworth.
Seen gurgling at the sound of her beloved's name. Très good at drawing and painting fat ladies.
I didn't know her very well, so cannot include a description. Sorry!
(Clarky) Double 'ard bastard, co-side kick to other double 'ard bastard Irvy. Genius at pool, tending to kick the arses of small children in the vicinity of the common room.
I sometimes played cards with him and Nathan (the other one).
Thought of often in the same way one would about their dad. Bald patch, scary dress sense and skoda. Great musician - he plays the organ (and piano) and the flute. Rumoured to have played Alex's organ as well. In fact, he repairs organs as a hobby (and probably now a job).
Sometimes gave me a lift to school in his car - Thanks! :-)
Was once a quiet well spoken girl, now know to be seen living it up at uni, managing to talk to Nick (as reports have stated), without feeling the urge to kill him. Nerves of steel.
She played the oboe and gave me lifts back from West Wilts Concert Band rehearsals. Thanks! (No relation, to our knoweldge, of Gary's).
(Chris) Liked to think of himself as the Drugs Czar of GWS. Often found drugged up to the eyeballs on Nytol. Enjoyed raves and Rosie.
(Nicky Cotrell; Bird of Beanie) Known to be the objects of Austin's desires for some time, and for a short while this was mutual. Until she dumped him for his mate. Ha ha. Last heard saying "so, sir, where was the nasty rash? .... Well, I didn't need that much detail thanks."
Welsh's favourite sturdy girl, sorry ex-favourite. Er, generally known to be a runner. Très uptight about achievements, cried when she passed her GCSE's with A and B grades. Yes, odd. But nice.
Often known to be in logger heads with Rosie and Lisa over petty matters. Last heard saying that well known phrase, "Oooh, I love this song!". Drinks spirits by the bucket load.
I didn't know her very well, so cannot include a description. Sorry!
Has been known to have a rather short fuse when one talks of sexism or footballs, or, come to think of it, books. About John McCarthy. Stuck to the wall. Oh dear. The lads of year 13 often would torment her by throwing objects at her, and then blaming it on freak winds. See also Cooper.
An other rebellious "rock star": he was lead guitarist of Four Parts Water. Often struck people as being generally thin and slightly neurotic. Not as much as Rosie though. Known to be generally a sarcastic git and best friend of Miness. See also Austin.
(Garrison) Also known to many as GavisconTM. Could say he liked to smoke. Put it this way, take a 24 hour day. For 18 of these hours he would be a stoned giggling mess on the floor, for the other six hours he would be passed out. That's our Si. Generally good bloke, and source of never ending laughter.
Ex-Mrs of Nick, good match, thought Maddy, as they are both raving Tories. Lorna is a lover of tearing the intestines out of innocent animals and has subsequently been known as "the Fox Killer". Lives on a farm, fond of Daily Mail sponsored Countryside walks.
(Jo) To be honest, not a lot can be said of this timid bird. However, I do remember Rosie being very impressed with her acting skills in year 12's Christmas play. The ladder scene, do you remember?
Nick's favourite person, known under several different guises depending upon what kind of mood he is in. Very strong feminist views, not often appreciated because of their patronising tones. Friends with Rosie, generally known as a double act of 'Feminist Powers' or the 'Feminist Alliance'. Cool.
Cool dude, dissappeared from school after becoming ill, now is much better. Object of many a sixth form girls desires (no names metioned), generally due to him being a quality dude.
Able to insight violence in people without even opening his mouth. What a talent. Generally a steaming Tory (see also Lorna) who enjoys outdoor pursuits and a middle class life style. Can provoke anger most noticeably in Rosie and Lisa. Likes to wind people up just to get a reaction.
He had got a pager. From inside the UK, dial 04325319638. From outside the UK, dial your country's international prefix followed by 444325319638. (I have it on good authority that he is a sailor who enjoys male company.) Unfortunately, the pager is probably long dead.
Was a primary school chum, who was more talkative then than now. Seen most often in the company of Helen Cook and Jessica, probably a closet porn reader like Jess. When drunk, her attention span doesn't last long enough to make a complete sentence! Most amusing.
(Livvy) Last seen riding off into the sunset on Silk. Not seen since.
The latter half of 'Irv and Irv', just to look at him you know he is capable of Mr T type powers. Gernerally double 'ard bastard and piss artist. But nice with it. Good bloke is Irv.
I sometimes played cards with him and Nathan (the other one).
(Jase) For some odd reason, Jase dissappeared at the end of the sixth form just weeks before the end of term. Since then he has set up home with his beloved Mel, and are going to make babies. Ok, so that was made that up.
Played Rugby for Melksham, often at the bottom of the scrum from the state of him. Set to be a family man. Of course, he and Mel could have split by now and the only bit that would be relavant would be the rugby. Sorry Jase.
For what it's worth, I sometimes played cards with him and Mel.
Known to the lads as 'Bleached Whale', as she has immaculate long blonde hair and is tall. Made a very strange choice in Marston for a boyfriend, and a better one in the current love, Andy. (When I say "current" I mean late 90s, mind you.) Often the butt of Maddy's jokes in sociology.
(Mel) Mad hatter, bird of Jason's. Bit of a star by all accounts, and one of Maddy's favourite people out of the 'form. Is set to do Nursing as of March at Bristol uni. Cool dude. Bit of a Winnie the Pooh fanatic. Strange.
I sometimes played cards with her and Jason.
(Bri) The biggest (both figuratively and literally) piss taker ever. Has been known to take the piss out of anything he can, the blind, disabled, Princess Di, homosexuals, Welsh, the severley handicapped, you name it he's done it. This man has no shame. Good job too, because there would be no-one else to entertain us. Sources tell me he even went out with Jane at one point too. Oh! Sorry Bri! Heh heh. Likes food so much he worked in a fruit&veg shop in town...
More recently seen hassling my sister and asking about me, apparently.
Tall, slim, super model-esqe. Goes out with Rob, who looks
admittedly like a member of 5ive. Often the butt of Nick's 'quality jokes' such as Tasmin
and Tazmanian Devil
. Ohhh ha ha, what a comedian. Thought I'd
just like to say that on behalf of Tamsin. She is also quite a bright
dude by all accounts. Funky clothing. Cool.
Al Pacino, eh? Scarface, eh? Coke smuggler, eh? Yep, that's our O'. Looks suspiciously like a Colombian drugs baron and could be packing a 12' bore. Also one of the nicest people I have ever met. What a dude! He is, err, of too many nationalities to mention. We spent a lot of time complaining about Britain together...
I didn't know her very well, so cannot include a description. Sorry!
Has also dissappeared since the end of the sixth form. Oh no, I remember, she was at uni with Brian! Oooh, what a coincidence. Err, yes, Jane is/was going out with Rimmer, and can give a look that could kill. Sometimes in Geography, when Nick made a comment and she gave that look to him, I think we all wished it really could kill. Oh well.
Apparently Holly and Maddy were mistaken for prostitues in Paris by what they thought were friendly locals. Oh dear. Holly is a star. She is a genius in the drawing stakes and a quality person to boot. Generally friends with everyone and anyone (no insinuations intended there).
What? Mason and Lego? Mason and Wankfest98? Mason and the roman empire? Yes, I am told it is all true. From what the unfortunate boy has been up to in recent years, you'd think he was obsessed by young girls and sex. Ooops, I think that's a yes. I hope his sister is safe in the holidays. Oh my god! What about his mum?
He was in my Physics group and in my Maths group. If he ever got to school on time, we threw a party. What's more, he only lived around 100m from the school gates....
(Maddy) Originator of most of the comments on this page. Here is what she says about herself:
I am going to be honest here. Maddy has the temper of a pirana, and often the lads were the cause of such tempers and on the recieving end too, but they deserved it the bastards. Generally at other times she is said to resemble a super model, with an IQ of 254. Stunning personality, and for some reason she is going out with a scruffy urchin called Rixon. They say 'Love is blind' though. Only kidding.
See also Rixon.
I didn't know him very well, so cannot include a description. Sorry!
(Miness) This skinny bugger has spent the latter years of his life drooling in an unrecognisable heap on the floor due to the fact that Steph only wanted to be 'just good friends'. But some of us know otherwise, don't we? Like when we got our exam results and... well, you'll have to ask Timmy just what happened after he gave Steph a piggy back home from the Tav... Okay, that's enough gossiping for now... Tim, as it happens thinks he is too posh to be seen in the Tav, and cannot be seen also with the likes of us scrubby student types. Snob. Heh heh.
The word tall
fails to fully describe the magnitude
of his longitudinal dimension.
I didn't know her very well, so cannot include a description. Sorry!
I didn't know him very well, so cannot include a description. Sorry!
(Welsh) Was forever having his packed lunch vac formed by Austin and his belongings pinned to a notice board. Also suffered the humiliation of having afore said Austin put his own public hair down his jumper. Now suffering untold humiliation at the thought of everyone finding out about that. Hee hee.
(Men Muse) Code name Men. Double 0 Men. Licence to interest. Yes, this is the kind of humour that Men has had to put up with since being a member of the sixth form. Poor bastard. All started (in the 6th form, before that, GCSE history) in the Alps with the phrase "Don't touch that Men, that's my lunch!". Anyway, he is a genius at Geography. Plays cricket and is now doing Gymnastics. Maybe you could get some hints from Lisa? (ho ho)
(Rich) Most famous for running around after Austin, kissing arse and having a hideously disfigured taste in music. Often thought to be having illicit dealings with afore mentioned Austin, due to the amount of general bollock sucking going on. All in the best possible taste. What's that then, cheese flavour?
Known in the sixth form to be generally of a quiet nature, but then she did hang around with Jessica. Bet really she was too busy fantasising over her next sneeky look at her pornos to have conversations with anyone who didn't know her hideous secret. Disgusting individual. Has now insisted that her 'nice' label be changed, obviously the guilt is too much for her. Filthy girl. Dirty bird. One of Helen's friends.
Blonde and pretty, often has men dripping off her. Was, it could be said not too impressed with her Melinda Messenger award in the last year. Understandably so. She generally drinks alcohol by the tank load, smokes obscene amounts of cigarettes, and has a strange affiliation to the Redstall brothers. Say no more. Currently teaching a classroom full of snivelling children. Rather like the common room, I suspect.
(Paul; Rix; Rixon; Kitson) Whichever name you know him under, the personalitiy is still the same. Generally self righteous, obnoxious and arrogant. And that's only when he's semi consious. Loves philosophy, reading obscene amounts of literature, Maddy, listening, for whatever reason, to Lee scratch Perry and annoying everyone with his quotes. Often found to be used as a punch bag by Brian, and being painfully rectally excavated by the likes of afore said Austin and foreign objects. ONE-NIL.
He is a vegetarian, because he once did work-experience in a slaughter house or something and it put him off meat for life! See also Maddy.
I didn't know her very well, so cannot include a description. Sorry!
I didn't know her very well, so cannot include a description. Sorry!
I didn't know her very well, so cannot include a description. Sorry!
A member of my tutor group and also a great saxophonist in the Jazz Band!
I often played cards with her in the common room.
An absolute star as you will all agree. Very caring and considerate. Does have an inability to stop talking nonsense however, which leads to massive phone bills. Always the shoulder to cry on and is very amusing on the occasions she gets pissed, normally ends up doing the crying herself. Well, so Lorna tells me anyhow.
I didn't know her very well, so cannot include a description. Sorry!
I didn't know her very well, so cannot include a description. Sorry!
He was in my Chemistry group and in my tutor group, but he wasn't in the Physics group. Why does everyone think he was? Most baffling.
I think that that is everyone. If you would like me to amend this, you must tell me!